Love is the most beautiful feeling.
First time in my life, I felt that kind of feeling. I was flying, I was in some other world, everything seems perfect to me. I was feeling that I have achieved everything in my life. I was unable to believe that all this is happening to me. Most of the time, I asked myself, “Is it really happening, am I really start falling towards someone”? I was extremely happy.
I met him in my office. Whenever we all were in a meeting, I always looked at him. I kept looking at him. And one day, suddenly, I noticed that he was looking at me. And as I turned my eyes towards him, he turned his eyes away from me. Oh my god! I was surprised and happy. We both started looking at each other. We both started falling towards each other. But when we met in the office canteen or talk about some other work, we both acted, as nothing has happened. As we didn’t know each other. In front of others, we interacted in a very formal way. Everything was going well. But….
One day I felt that something has changed. I was kept looking at him, but he didn’t look at me for a whole day. I was not able to concentrate on my work. I wanted to shout, to ask him, that what happened. But we never talked anything about it with each other, only our emotions, our eyes knew the truth. So I could not ask anything from him directly.
Till the end of the day, I was confused, and suddenly I noticed that he was looking at me, that was the first time when we both looked into each other eyes with full passion. I was standing far away from him, but I was able to feel the depth of his eyes. I was feeling like I was so close to him. Everything has stopped, I was unable to listen to any other colleague of mine. I was deep inside his eyes. “Love is beautiful. Love doesn’t need words. It can be expressed through your eyes”. I can never forget that day in my life. My first love, my first feeling, my first eye contact. I can’t express it in words.
You must be thinking, that it’s great, but wait, please stay with me, till the end of the story.
Everything was fine, but again after some days, he started ignoring me. I was blank. I was confused again. Neither I can go to him and directly talk about all this nor I was able to face all that. But after some days of confusion and stress, finally, we talked. He said to me, “I came here to do something great in my life, I can’t start all this”. I was broken from inside but said nothing to him and went back to my work. Few days were really tough for me.
But I don’t believe in forcing anyone to love you.
I have started moving on from all that. And within few months, we have started talking again, like normal colleagues. But we both were on our own journeys.
Again, another twist came to my story.
One of my office friends started talking to him. Within some days they both became good friends. They both used to talk a lot, and I really didn’t like that. I felt jealous. But I was no one to say anything to him, I was no one. I have accepted that and moved on. I have started focusing on my work, everything was going good, but one day I got to know from him, that my friend started liking him. She was badly in love with him, but he treated her only like his best friend. A lot of confusion has started between them, lots of fights have happened. And in the end, both of them were broken. He came to me for help, he wanted me to pull back both of them from all this. I was sad for them, but I knew that it’s not good to force anyone to love. I have tried to explain this indirectly to my friend, but she never understood that. I have tried hard to bring everything back to normal, but I was failed. Everything was getting worse day by day. I was downhearted for them, but especially for him. Because I have seen him, that he had lost his trust. He was unable to trust any girl because he has started thinking that every girl wanted the same thing. He was changing himself and started to be a quiet person. He has stopped interacting with girls, but during all this, he and I became really good friends. I got to know about him a lot. And I was able to empathise with his feelings towards girls. Some of the time, he felt insecure with me too. Because he thought that I will also do the same thing, that my friend did.
He was not against her feelings, he respected her a lot and also tried to explain everything to her, tried to help her to move on from all this because he really cares for her but as a friend only. But she never understood that, she has blamed him for everything that has happened. She said that he has used her, he has taken benefit of her. This all was really bad, because of this he was broken from inside.
He felt that his trust was broken by his best friend, by the person, whom he trusted the most.
But at the same time, he and I started talking a lot. And we really became good friends.
(I have never thought that this will ever happen after the day he told me that he was here to do something great and couldn’t start anything with me. I don’t know why destiny gave us another chance to start our story from the other chapter of our book).
As at that time I was able to see his mental condition, how he got affected by all this. I have promised myself, that I will never ever break his trust. I knew that I love him, but I have chosen to be his best friend. I have chosen to forget my love and become his friend, the most trustworthy friend.
We both are now working in different companies but still, we are in touch.
I don’t know why we are in touch even after so many years, I don’t know what our destiny wants from us. But sometimes, I feel to just express all of my feelings to him, but I can’t….
I can’t because for me trust is more important than love. I can never break his trust. It’s tough for me to see him with someone else, but this is what I have chosen. I can never tell all this to him. I am happy because he is happy. It might be possible that after some years, we will not stay in touch, because he is getting married within some years. And I don’t prefer to interfere in his life after his marriage.
I have never felt that kind of strong feeling from any other boy. Till yet, I am not able to fall again in love with someone else. But for me, he is still the one, I love the most, I care the most, I trust the most. It’s not like that we never fight or we never argue. We do all this, still, we are best friends. Still, we both care for each other. Still, we love each other! Sorry, still I love him!
But I will never say this to him. Never, ever, in my entire life!
Some stories are meant to be incomplete!